Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Too late

When will it ends ? Why can't I move on ? arrghhh. falling for a wrong guy, that's my specialty i think. And let me tell you how it feels. it frekin hurts babe :(

About this guy, I still can't move on HAHA not surprise. he's been treating really well, he gave me a lot of attention unitl that girl came.

Maybe i should just give up.

There's a lot of other guys who is better than him out there.

but there is one problem, no matter how many guys out there, i only want him /: :(

Friday, August 24, 2012

Boys ? Problem for me

Soo, it's been a while. Yeah right, like there's someone who cares.

Like the title itself said, boys are problem for me. so i went out with this guy, he's a guy i've been like for this last few months, almost a year i think and we've known each others for about 3 and a half years.

sooo, he asked me to go with him for a swim with his little cousin. and well, i agrred to it. he picked me up and we went out. here's the thing, he sees me only as his sister. he's the only one who i can talk to about anything, he's the one who can talk to me in a way others couldn't. he's special.

everyone can tell how much he cares about me, he always have deep words for me, but barely talk about it with anyone else.

buuutttt there's always a sad part, he already have a girl he likes. and i'm just sat there supporting him. what should i do ?

admit ?
go with it?



Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Why me?

I know very well no one will read this blog, and that's the main reason why I want to put it here. I don't exactly know how I feel.

i can say im devastated. i dont know what to do. whether to sit here waiting for something good happen again or fight for it. i dont want to go through any pain again. i think its too mych for me to handle.

im scared

im scared of losing everything, losing myself. but im the one who caused me losing myself. i dont appriciated what God gave me. i cutted myself, i beat myself up emotionally and i.. i just.. im tired of all of this.

what did i do wrong to deserve all of this? Why did God choose me to go thorugh this? i know He has a good reasons and He wont put me through something i cant handle. but.. i still feel like i cant do this anymore.

i just want to get out of here. no, i never think of a suidice, i just want to go away, away from this madness and live anywhere else by myself so i wont have to hear any screams that break my heart everytime.

why me?

Friday, June 29, 2012

New User ^^

Yep, I'm a new user at this blog and I don't even had any friends :(
I think I'm going to use this as my some kind of diary ?
Or post a few short story.

I love to write and reading of course. To me, books are a whole new world. A world where I can escape into. Place where I can smile when my own world is falling apart. Place where I could forget for a moment and live in a world where there's always happy ending.

I love to sing ? Yes. I can sing ? Nope. Singing and playing guitar or piano is another thing to release some stress.